I've been wearing one of two bras for a very long time and it's only by the will of God that I haven't been embarrassed because they are literally hanging by one hook and are so grungy that if I were to be in an auto accident, I wouldn't care about my underwear...please don't let them look at my bra.
Reading Lolita in Tehran
A Family Affair
Getting to know me....
I DREAMED I WENT SHOPPING
24 February 2004
Remember those ads? I dreamed I went XXXX-ing in my Maidenform bra. I grew up with them. I suspect they were the "got milk?" ads of their day.
I have not had the best luck with bras in recent years. One of my earlier entries in this journal (in the years when I was more entertaining!) talked about the experience of shopping for a bra with all of my family tagging along.
The problem, of course, with buying a bra when you are a person of...uh...size....is that your choices are quite limited. Go into any department store and go to the ladies lingerie department and see the vast array of contraptions made with the express purpose of corralling the stray boob and keeping it under control.
There are colored bras, underwire bras, strapless bras, soft bras, skimpy bras, sports bras, sleep bras....the choice seems endless unless you take a couple of jugs this size and try to find suitable containers. Lotsa luck.
If you are lucky, there may be a "plus size" section of brassieres but there again, there are plus sizes and there are pup tent sizes, and not all "plus size" sections carry matching pup tents.
Plus size women have better luck at fat lady stores like Lane Bryant. There you are at least among "your people."
Ideally, you should ask a saleswoman (hopefully one with a cup size larger than AA) help you get the proper fit, but, well, Im a bit embarrassed to ask for help, and not so keen about total strangers without MD after their name poking around in my bra area, so when I finally decided to bite the bullet, I went to my nearest Lane Bryant, picked out a couple of sizes that I thought might fit, tried them on and when I found one that was able to be fastened and didnt feel terrible, I felt Id solved the question.
I now knew my size: 42D.
Ever since then, with weight rise and fall, I have continued to buy 42Ds. I know my size.
The problem was that it wasnt really my size. I thought that anything that held you in that securely was surely the right size.
Well...then I did that little header over the handlebars of the bike and started this whole new lifestyle change of mine. The lifestyle change included inability to move my arm around to the back of me to hook my bra, as Ive been doing since I hit puberty.
When you cant bend over, drop the babies into the cups, and then reach behind you to hook the bra, you have to learn to be creative.
The logical thing is that you turn the bra around, hook it in front of you, and then slide the hooks around to the back, and when you have it in place, then you slip your arms into the straps, pull it up, adjust the mammary glands into the cups and there you go.
However, when you are just out of the shower, when you arent quite totally dried off, and when the bra is a little bit smaller than it should be in the first place, you cant slide the bra around without it getting hung up on your moist skin.
Ive often thought that a wonderful comedy would be a hidden camera recording my attempts to get into a bra unaided. Whether Im completely dry from the shower or not, the effort to get the damn thing into place causes me to start sweating and that makes it worse. (I sometimes think that my gyrations could also keep a hulahoop circling my waist as I try to get the damn bra into place)
After months of trying to deal with this problem, I finally bought myself a bra that closes in front. Same size, 42D. That was better, but not ideal. Its easier, less painful, to snap in front, but somehow I always seem to get the back part of it twisted up. I struggle and struggle and struggle to get the damn thing snapped and then realized that its twisted in back, so I have to take it off and start all over again.
Ill tell you, its not easy getting dressed around here!
Ive been hoping that I will eventually be able to fasten a bra like everyone else again. My physical therapist told me thats the last movement that comes back (Im wondering if it ever will), so I finally decided to bite the bullet and give up on back-closing bras entirely.
My Just-My-Size catalog (read: fat lady lingerie) arrived, announcing a bra sale and they had a nice-looking front-closing bra on sale. Buying bras by catalog is, for me, like buying shoes by catalog. I feel Im so difficult to fit that I want to try the thing on before spending a lot of money on something I might never be able to wear. But throwing caution to the wind, I decided to order two of the sale bras. And then, in a last minute decision, I decided to go one size larger, 44D.
Today they arrived, I tried one on and Im thrilled. THIS is my size. It goes on easily, doesnt get tangled, hooks easily, and, more importantly, feels comfortable.
Just think--it only took me four years to figure all this out!
PHOTO OF THE DAY
Weight Lost to date: 45.8 lbs