Check my Defend Equality page TODAY's QUOTE Look deep, deep into nature and then you will understand everything. ~ Albert Einstein Yesterday's Entries (No Feb 29 last year!) 2001: How the Other Half Lives TODAY's READ Reading Lolita in Tehran Getting to know me.... (OK--I'm not a goddess, but
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CROUCHING TURTLE, SLEEPING GODDESS 29 February 2004 You can take the girl out of the city, but you (apparently) can’t take the city out of the girl. Today I went off with my cousins to find my inner goddess. I really didn’t know what to expect when I blythly sent off my check to attend a goddess workshop. I also didn’t know what to expect when I got a shopping list of things to bring, which included a rock, something from the earth, comfortable shoes, a candle and a song. I knew that my cousin Shirley was into Native American tradition and that this would have something to do with getting back to nature. (Problem was, I’d never been "in nature" to begin with!) The day was absolutely gorgeous. We drove up into Petaluma, and then out into the country to the McElvoy farm. Our ultimate destination was a large barn nestled in the middle of rolling hills which, thanks to the previous week’s rains were an incredibly gorgeous, deep green. The road leading up to it was lined with daffodils and there was a promise of "lots of animals" showing up during the day. I was thinking this might not be too bad.
We were a small group, and most of them were related to me. Two of my cousins, two daughters of one of them, and three daughters of one of my cousin’s daughter. The circle was rounded out by the facilitator, and four other women. We had been told to bring a folding chair, a cushion and a blanket but the circle started with all of us lying flat on our backs, with hands at our sides, and breathing. Well...right off, I was in trouble. I haven’t been able to lie flat on my back in decades and the shoulder prevents me from leaving my arms flat on the floor next to me. But I gave it the old college try. And the breathing did help. I’m an old LaMaze person and know about the role of breathing in helping you to relax. I dutifully moved air in and out of my solar plexus, became aware of the areas around me on the bottom, top, and to each side, and followed instructions. Actually by the time we finished, I had relaxed, wasn’t in as much pain, and was even able to put my arm flat on the floor. Then, of course, I had to get UP off the floor, with nothing to hang on to. Such a picture of grace and agility. The facilitator came over and helped me get up. I think singing and drumming was next. We sang Celtic-sounding songs, and called out all of the goddesses. We were all supposed to contribute names of goddesses, but I’m a catholic--what do I know from goddesses? Women aren’t recognized in the Catholic church, except when they polish the pews and iron the altar linen. So I was kind of lost after the printed list of goddesses: Isis, Ishtar, Diana, Hectae, Demeter, Kali, Inanna.... The only name I recognized was Diana, but I don’t think they meant the principal clarinettest of the Lamplighter orchestra. The drumming was kind of cool, though. My cousin loaned me a kangaroo-skin instrument that she’d brought back from Australia. I felt that I could bond with that. The facilitator invited us to share our experiences with goddesses. "We all have them," she said. Uh. No. Not all. One woman talked about a horse goddess and how it had helped her get some jobs and do what she loved to do. Someone else talked about an old crone that had gotten her thru a difficult situation, other people shared other stores. I was searching frantically for something to say, but I just haven't had any up close and personals with any goddesses. Sorry! There were lot of other things. At one point we did an exercise designed to bring the energy of the earth up through our bodies, focusing on the four elements: earth, water, fire, and air. As we kept our eyes closed and raised our arms slowly, slowly, slowly up through various regions of our body, ending with them over our heads, trapping "air" we were supposed to be concentrating on being one with the earth and one with the elements, and I’m afraid I was wondering how much longer I could hold my arm in each position. In fact, I skipped part of the exercise because I could get my bad arm up through "earth" to "water" and I could end up with "air" but the whole "fire" section was a lost cause. Then came some guided imagery. We sat with eyes closed while the facilitator began leading us on an imaginary tour, down stairs into a dark cave and through the cave. I’m afraid that I couldn’t get into this exercise for many reasons. One was that all I could think about was the early computer adventure games. I was wondering how many tools and treasures I was going to have to pick up along the way, and it detracted from the guided tour the facilitator was giving. The second reason was that I fell asleep, apparently. I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep until people started talking about their experiences "in the cave" (I was reminded of David’s exasperation when I would tell him I was going to "go" to a certain web site and he’d say "You’re not GOING anywhere, Mom. You’re just sitting at your computer.") People talked about people they encountered--or didn’t encounter in a room to which we’d apparently been lead. They mentioned things they smelled and felt, lights they saw, questions they asked and got answered, etc. I didn’t get any of that and was relieved when my cousin’s daughter admitted to having fallen asleep during the exercise. We’d been at this for about 4 hours now and I have to admit I was sneeking peeks at my watch by this time. I was also starving, since Peach and I had brought a "snack" so while all the others were munching huge sandwiches I was nibbling on an apple and a Pria bar.
There was another breathing session on the floor but I had more difficulty getting in touch with the earth this time and was amazed when completely out of nowhere the face of a kid I’d gone to grammar school kept popping into my mind--don’t ask me why. We never got to our candles or our songs, but the last exercise was "skrying" (rhymes with "crying") This is the art of "reading" inanimate objects. We were each to take the stone we’d brought and go off for 10 minutes and "read it." Ever try reading a rock? I discovered I had a "left handed" rock. It fit perfectly in my left hand (would make a great weapon), but wouldn’t fit so smoothly into the right hand. I spent time trying to figure out what to say about the rock, like that it was smooth from being in the water. that it was composed of layers, or what have you. I was somewhat embarrassed when the first person to speak talked about how her rock was a lion. The next person showed how hers was an elephant. Someone else had a "talking rock" and gave the history of this rock’s ...uh...rocky, tumultuous life being tossed around from the interior earth. I felt like Charlie Brown, ready to kick my feet and say "I got a rock." But then, searching intently to find something other than just the rockiness of my rock, I suddenly saw the face of a turtle. Yeah. That’s it. A turtle. Everyone was very proud that I’d found a turtle, and the facilitator pointed out that a turtle carries its house on its back and hide inside when startled and asked if that had any meaning for me. And then we all stood around in the circle and held hands and everyone else sang a song that I appeared to be the only one unfamiliar with. I wanted to end up by saying "keep coming back--it works" as they would at an AA meeting, but I didn’t. We packed up our chairs and blankets and candles and other stuff and went out into the parking lot again. Did I feel closer to the earth? No. Did I feel like a goddess? No. But it was a different way to pass the afternoon and perhaps made me a little more relaxed to deal with the bumper to bumper traffic we encountered as soon as we hit the freeway. I think I'll skip the drum circle coming up. I'm just not a "back to earth" kinda gal. |
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PHOTO OF THE DAY
We had to draw pictures of ourselves at the start of the session, and at |
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For more photos, please visit My Fotolog and My FoodLog |
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Weight Lost to date: 45.8 lbs
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Created 2/28/04
