"Learning More Stuff"
7 October 2005
On Flickr, as you may have already learned, you can divide your photos into "sets" so that you gather together all of the photos that match a certain topic. I already have lots of sets, including one set for each dog or puppy litter that I've adopted, sets for places I've been, etc., etc.
She has a set for family and friends, I discovered today, which I found ironic.
"I hate having my photo taken," she has said on more than one occasion, making it very clear that there are to be NO photos of her taken or appearing anywhere.
I'm generally a pretty sensitive person. While I like taking "stealth" photos, because I think that candids are sometimes the best because people aren't so self-conscious about having a camera in their face, if I know that someone is as adamant about it as she is, I am scrupulous about not taking their photo. (I know how I feel about having my photo taken sometimes!)
I remember going to a women's gathering in Texas once where it had been made blatantly clear that there were to be NO photos taken of a certain person. It was a good sized gathering and people were often gathered together in groups, yet I went out of my way to be sure that the person who didn't want to be photographed did not appear in any group photo.
So over the years, I have been very careful to take no photos of her, but, heck--I'm a person with a camera. I always have it with me. I have recorded parts of my life and "adventures" (such as they are) for most of my life, ever since my first Brownie box camera.
"He doesn't like his photo taken either," she said, when we were all planning to go away for a weekend with some other friends, making it clear that the taboo on photos of her extended to him as well.
It was a picturesque place and it was a beautiful time of the year, with lots to photograph. There were also interesting little shops and open air things just ripe for the photographing.
It was day #2 and we were going to gather together in the late afternoon to have some wine and cheese and then go out to dinner. It was a fancy bottle of wine, as I recall, and Walt was going to be pouring it. She was sitting nearby. I took the camera and zoomed in on Walt, pouring wine into a glass.
Suddenly she stood up, absolutely furious, made some sort of indistinguishable sound, and marched off to her room, where she spent the rest of the day, without speaking to anybody.
All because I took a photo of Walt while he was standing near her. (The hands on the right side of the photo are not hers.)
I don't understand why people act like that. I am extremely uncomfortable, now, whenever I'm around her with a camera, knowing that any snapshot I might take in her presence might send her into a rage like the wine photo did.
She eventually reappeared the next day, with no apology for her behavior, no explanation, and acting as if nothing had ever happened.
I suppose I reacted so strongly to the incident because that's the way my father was. One minute you'd be sitting around talking and laughing and then something he would perceive something that made him angry. He's make a big display of anger and go off to be alone, and then his silence would last a day...a week...several weeks. When he finally decided to return to the world, we never knew why he was angry, he never apologized, and he just acted as if nothing had taken place, while we again tiptoed around him, worried that we would set him off again.
So I find it ironic that she has photos of friends and family on her web site, and that the lead photo is a wonderful photo of him, the guy she said hated having his photo taken too.
PHOTO OF THE DAY
The offending photo.