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"OH BABY, YOU SURE GOT AN UGLY BUTT" * 19 October 2005 There is a scene in A Star Is Born, where sleazy publicist Jack Carson, realizing that Vicki Lester has replaced her alcoholic husband Norman Maine as the top movie star of the studio, leans back in his chair, chomps on a big cigar, smiles a smarmy grin and says, The wheel turns round and round and if you wait long enough, it's finally your turn. Well, the wheels have been turning round and around all of my life and it appears that it's finally my turn. While I am not a big fan of FOX News, I was moved to check out the web page when Dr. Dean Edell talked about an article which had appeared recently:
Now how could I pass up an opening line like that?
The new commercial that is all the rage these days is the Dove commercials using models who actually look like real people, flaws and all. The women even went on Oprah, undies and all, to show of their avoirdupois. Finally my big butt is trendy. In fact, I'm so trendy, I can lead the pack with a sign that reads "bigger is better." We all know I have "body issues," chief among which is the big derriere. It didn't help that my mother (who shares this trait, but has kept hers to an acceptable level) was once told by a Native American, when she was a young bride, "big hips--babies come easy" (given that my sister was born after only one contraction, obviously this guy knew what he was talking about). Like my mother, my wide hips made "babies come easy," but I haven't needed all that room for more than 30 years, so what is the point to it now? Unfortunately, you can't pick and choose when you are going to have a big backside and I suppose that I have chosen to both rejoice in my "abundance," while at the same time hating it because thin was in. Well now, if FOX is to be believed, I can stand with pride, with nothing to hide. Except, of course, that old habits die hard and I think the pendulum will have swung back to anorexic models before I finally actually accept the abundance with which I have been blessed (and worked carefully to augment). Of course, if my big butt looked like Jennifer Lopez's or Jessica Simpson that might be easier. *This is one of Lawsuit's more popular songs |
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PHOTO OF THE DAY My new "lap dog"
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Created 8/15/05